Dear Abby: How can I support my pregnant bipolar sister-in-law?

DEAR ABBY: My relative “Joey” joined a woman, “Allie,” who is mentally unstable. Every mates of months, she loses her temper astatine maine aliases 1 of my family members. It’s highly disruptive and upsetting. She has been diagnosed pinch type 1 bipolar upset arsenic good arsenic borderline characteristic disorder. Joey recognizes her behaviour is inappropriate but can’t look to power her.

We usually disregard her and fto immoderate clip walk until she calms down, but sometimes it’s difficult to move nan different feature erstwhile she yells and makes individual attacks toward us. The astir caller blow-up occurred while they were visiting my parents’ home. Allie is pregnant pinch their first baby, and nan time aft nan visit, Allie called my mom yelling astatine her that their location is “toxic” owed to clutter and dust. She said being successful their location is “harming their unborn baby.” My parents’ location is not a wellness hazard. Yes, location is immoderate clutter, but they’ve raised 5 kids successful that location and person lived location for almost 40 years.

Is location immoderate measurement we tin person a meaningful narration pinch Joey and Allie? I’m worried they’re ne'er going to fto america spot their baby. — TIPTOEING IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR TIPTOEING: Allie has dual-diagnosis intelligence illness. If she’s receiving meds for her bipolar disorder, it whitethorn beryllium controlled. If she realizes her explosive reactions are complete nan apical and is receiving psychotherapy for borderline characteristic disorder, you whitethorn beryllium capable to person a narration pinch your niece aliases nephew. But understand that BPD is simply a difficult unwellness to treat. Unless Allie is unfastened to treatment, your relative should deliberation doubly astir having much children pinch her because their matrimony whitethorn not last.

DEAR ABBY: A longtime friend of mine, “Barbara,” is benignant capable to fto maine enactment astatine her location erstwhile I sojourn her municipality a mates of times a year. She has different adjacent (out-of-town) friend, “Helene,” who stays pinch her much often. Lately, it has go evident that Helene is our complete governmental opposite, truthful overmuch truthful that I nary longer consciousness comfortable being astir her.

Because our visits often overlap, my first impulse is to make arrangements to enactment elsewhere. However, I don’t want to offend Barbara, who denies that Helene is an extremist, contempt grounds to nan contrary. Is location immoderate graceful measurement to inquire Barbara to alert maine if Helene will beryllium astir truthful I whitethorn make different lodging arrangements? — AVOIDANT OUT WEST

DEAR AVOIDANT: Because your friend Barbara continues to contradict that Helene is an extremist, successful spite of grounds to nan contrary, it is imaginable that her governmental views are person to those of Helene’s than you think. It whitethorn beryllium clip to level pinch Barbara and explicate that Helene’s views are violative to you and inquire if she’d beryllium consenting to show you if Helene will beryllium location erstwhile you scheme to sojourn truthful you tin make different arrangements for lodging.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, besides known arsenic Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby astatine www.DearAbby.com aliases P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.