Dear Abby: I can’t stand my close friend’s vulgar language

DEAR ABBY: When my lifelong friend “Cheryl” and I would talk erstwhile a week to drawback up pinch each other’s lives, she’d picture her different friends’ woes successful a really animated way, including a large sound and highly vulgar words astir those friends.

She moreover talked astir her precocious departed mother this way. Her mother had not been portion of her life for much than 50 years, but erstwhile she reentered nan scene, she had developed dementia. Her mom’s wont of vulgar talk was astir apt wherever Cheryl picked it up. 

The funny point is, erstwhile we talk successful person, Cheryl doesn’t do it. It’s only connected nan phone. I precocious had a falling-out pinch an aged friend, “Louise,” complete a akin situation, but it was politically fueled.

Louise would telephone me, inebriated, shouting nasty worldly astir my governmental stance. I yet hung up and blocked her connected nan phone. Louise is 78 and an admitted alcoholic. Cheryl and I are not; we are successful our mid-60s. 

I decided to matter Cheryl, asking her not to usage specified vulgar connection erstwhile we talk because it upsets me. I grew up pinch a begetter who cursed and yelled a lot, and I vowed not to talk that way.

I’m not a prude. Talking pinch these 2 women triggered memories of younger years. Cheryl has now ghosted me.

My matter wasn’t mean aliases brutal. Is location thing I tin opportunity to her to get my friend back, aliases americium I blocked forever? — OVER AND OUT IN OHIO

DEAR OVER: Because you couldn’t grip Cheryl’s language, you were correct to show her really it made you consciousness and why. As agelong arsenic she’s blocking you, location is thing you tin opportunity that will get through.

Perhaps it is conscionable arsenic well. In my view, folks who ridicule others are really not very bully astatine all.

DEAR ABBY: I person a neighbour I will telephone “Sheila.” Every year, Sheila throws an over-the-top New Year’s Eve party. It is not moreover Halloween yet, and she has already sent nan save-the-date invitations.

My problem is, I consciousness for illustration I americium boxed successful to attending nan statement arsenic I don’t person my plans yet for New Year’s Eve. I’d for illustration to person nan elasticity to beryllium pinch my family aliases perchance be a different type of event.

The statement starts astatine 7 p.m., and by midnight I’m exhausted from opinionated and trying to make mini talk astatine nan ample party. I for illustration a smaller group wherever we tin chat and socialize easily.

Sheila has been known to support way of people’s comings and goings successful and retired of nan neighborhood, truthful I can’t hide connected New Year’s Eve.

I wouldn’t mind going for an hr aliases two, but much than that is conscionable torture. Any advice? — BOXED-IN IN FLORIDA

DEAR BOXED-IN: You are not trapped into doing thing you don’t want to do. A “save-the-date” paper isn’t a bid performance.

Talk pinch Sheila and show her your plans for New Year’s Eve are up successful nan air, and that you haven’t decided whether you will walk it pinch your family but will fto her cognize aft you person her general invitation.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, besides known arsenic Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby astatine DearAbby.com aliases P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.