My Italian Family Defied Every Stereotype. Then I Went to Italy and Found Out Why (Exclusive)

“Did increasing up successful a large Italian family animate you to constitute astir food? Do you person a favourite Italian family look you tin stock pinch listeners?” a power big asked maine successful an question and reply a fewer years ago. 

Caught disconnected guard, I fumbled for an reply earlier hastily moving connected to nan adjacent topic. Later though, nan speech niggled astatine me. I grew up successful a ample bluish collar blimpish Italian family successful agrarian Ohio, 1 that defies each Italian stereotype. There were nary large Italian meals during my childhood. At family dinners, it was hearty midwestern workplace fare connected nan table. The closest crockery I tin retrieve my grandma serving was an oddly tasty Midwestern one-pot repast she called Johnny Marzetti – a concoction of cooked macaroni noodles, jarred reddish spaghetti condiment and melted cheddar food that felt acold much Midwestern than authentically Italian. 

It wasn’t conscionable meals, though. It was everything. There were nary first communions aliases baptisms. The full family had trim ties pinch nan Catholic Church years ago. No 1 successful our family looks stereotypically Italian either. The men are gruff national alloy workers pinch calloused hands and accepted names for illustration Gino and Adelmo, but since our family hails from Northern Italy, everyone has bluish eyes and adjacent hair. We look much for illustration extras from The Sound of Music than The Godfather. And though my grandfather and his siblings grew up speaking Italian astatine home, arsenic adults, they chose to only speak English. 

The much I thought astir it, nan much it appeared that our family took nary pridefulness successful our heritage. In fact, they seemed to want to erase it. I was baffled. Why was my Italian family truthful very un-Italian? Curious, I did what immoderate bully writer does. I followed nan story.

“Your grandfather ne'er talks astir Italy aliases increasing up,” my dada told maine erstwhile I asked him. “I deliberation it was achy for him.”

I pressed different family members for information, gleaning tidbits I hoarded for illustration treasure. Slowly, I began to portion together nan story. 

The specifications are scant. My awesome grandfather Giovanni — a labour organizer who was blacklisted by Mussolini — fled for his life crossed nan water to America successful nan 1920s. My grandmother Pia followed later pinch their 2 young sons. Upon their presence to Ellis Island, they were promptly doused successful kerosene to delouse them aft nan voyage. I combed nan net and recovered their names successful a ship’s manifest, different treasure. 

Giovanni made bootleg liquor during Prohibition to support his family fed. They hid nan forbidden still successful nan women’s outhouse. There were whispered mentions of prison, alcoholism, home abuse. Pia ne'er learned English. Giovanni drank himself into an early grave. 

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In a uncommon infinitesimal of candor, my grandfather erstwhile shared that, arsenic a child, he and 1 relative slept successful an unheated shed astatine nan backmost of nan house, each nan family’s apparel piled connected apical of them to effort to support from freezing to decease successful nan frigid Ohio winters. He told nan communicative pinch his accustomed energetic charisma, but I caught a hint of nan symptom underscoring his words. He managed to flight that hardscrabble upbringing and propulsion himself up by his bootstraps to build a sprawling existent property business successful cardinal Ohio. He exemplified nan American dream and seemed to position his Italian practice arsenic a load to overcome. 

My family’s immigrant experience was a heartbreaking communicative of deprivation, racism, grinding poorness and nan effects of generational trauma. The stories collapsed my bosom and gave maine caller empathy. Still, I sensed location had to beryllium much to our history. I wanted to understand not conscionable nan hardships of my family’s migrant experience, but wherever we came from before. When I learned I had a great-aunt still surviving adjacent Milan, I booked a summons to visit, eager to get a fuller image of my heritage. I was quiet for Italy. 

The infinitesimal I group ft connected Italian soil, I felt an unexpected consciousness of resonance, a soul-deep contentment. It felt for illustration coming home. Great Aunt Velia plied maine pinch section vino from nan Fruili Valley and slow walked pinch maine done nan mini colony wherever our family is from. I saw nan religion wherever my great-grandparents were married, nan Catholic orphanage wherever Giovanni was raised by nuns. 

“This is our place, our land,” Velia told me, gripping my hand. I walked my family’s fields and felt my roots descend down heavy into nan soil. I tasted section dishes, met distant relatives, and knowledgeable nan lukewarm hospitality and wry joke of Italian culture. That clip successful Italy grounded maine somehow, steadied me, and made maine consciousness arsenic though I amended understood my spot successful nan world and my family’s history. And arsenic I embraced la dolce vita, I started to grasp nan paradox that is my family’s story. 

We are not each 1 point aliases another. Our communicative is not each savoring pasta and vino successful sun-drenched piazzas. But it’s besides acold much than nan symptom of deprivation and hardship arsenic immigrants successful a caller land. We are each of these things, and each of them has contributed to my practice and history, to who I americium today. I americium learning to clasp nan full of it. 

When I sewage location I started to constitute different novel, this 1 inspired by my ain travel to observe my roots. I group it successful Italy connected beautiful Lake Garda a fewer hours from our family’s village. The Secret of Orange Blossom Cake is astir 3 generations of beardown women connected an ancestral oliva workplace and 1 magical summertime that changes everything. I filled it pinch family drama, a saccharine 2nd chance romance, a mysterious mislaid look and a LOT of delicious Italian food. 

At its heart, The Secret of Orange Blossom Cake is astir legacy, family and choosing to unrecorded a meaningful life contempt nan hardships nan world throws astatine you. It’s astir having nan courageousness to clasp nan correct difficult things successful life and create la dolce vita for yourself, wherever you are. 

I still don’t person a favourite Italian family look to stock pinch nan world, but now I person this book. It’s an elegy and a celebration, conscionable for illustration my family’s story. I wrote it for myself and for my family, and for anyone who is longing to return to their roots successful bid to find nan way forward. I dream wrong its pages readers will beryllium inspired to find a portion of their ain family communicative too. And I dream my family, if they publication it, will beryllium proud of who we are and really acold we’ve come. 

The Secret of Orange Blossom Cake is disposable now, wherever books are sold.