Sarah Silverman Channels the Grief of Losing Parents 9 Days Apart into a New Netflix Special: 'Extremely Cathartic' (Exclusive)

Unlike her 3 sisters, Sarah Silverman hasn’t seen signs from her precocious parents aliases stepparents, but she has her ain ways of keeping them close.

“I ever email them,” she tells PEOPLE successful this week's issue. “When you person thing to brag about, your parents are nan only group successful nan world that emotion it. It’s sustenance for them. It makes them truthful happy. I’ll nonstop immoderate benignant of braggy point like, ‘Guess who I met?'"

The Emmy-winning comedian, known for her stand-up routines wherever nary arguable taxable is off-limits, is successful a reflective authorities during a Zoom question and reply from her location successful Los Angeles. “Tomorrow is nan two-year day of my dada dying. It was specified a horrible, beautiful, absorbing clip that benignant of near america each conscionable wholly depleted and past benignant of afloat again,” says Silverman, 54.

Her father, Donald, who owned a discount women’s clothing store, died of kidney nonaccomplishment conscionable 9 days aft her stepmother, Janice, died of pancreatic cancer. Donald opted against infirmary curen to unrecorded retired his last moments astatine home.

“He could person astir apt fought and lived a small longer,” says Silverman. “He wanted to beryllium pinch Janice.”

Silverman cared for them — aliases “doula’d” them done death, arsenic she puts it — and elaborate it each successful a stand-up tour, Postmortem, which was filmed arsenic a Netflix special, retired now. “At first I was dreading dredging it each up, but by nan 2nd half of nan circuit I sewage excited each nighttime to show everybody astir my parents,” she says. “It was highly cathartic.”

But she doesn’t want fans to get nan incorrect idea: “It’s not sad, it’s really funny.”

Silverman besides shares stories her upbringing successful New Hampshire and discusses her enslaved pinch her mother, Beth Ann. Donald and Beth Ann divided erstwhile she was 6.

“I was thrilled,” she recalls of their split. “My older sisters were very upset, but honestly I still consciousness I was correct on. I was like, ‘Oh, I’m not going to spell to slumber to group screaming? Great.’"

She continues, "They really hated each other. I ne'er saw them grin astatine each different until they were divided and became truthful very close."

Each remarried and recovered their “soulmates,” and “because they were happy,” they yet became champion friends who lived 3 minutes apart.

“I don't opportunity this successful nan special, but erstwhile my mom died, she was holding my dada and my stepmother’s hands,” Silverman says.

She shares that life instruction pinch friends who whitethorn beryllium going done a akin situation. "I americium astatine nan property now wherever my friends person kids and whenever nan conception of staying together for nan kids, I conscionable request them, 'Kids request happy, engaged parents. They don't request joined parents. Kids cognize erstwhile you're not happy, you're not helping them,'" nan comedian says.

In nan past 2 years Silverman has relied connected nan “constant” support of her sisters Susan, 62, Laura, 58, and Jodyne, 54, but says she’s learned that “grief takes attraction of itself. You don’t person to interest astir it.” (Beth Ann died successful 2015, and her stepfather, John, died successful 2007.)

Adding, “You tin attraction connected moving towards joy, wherever it is.”

Silverman is moving towards joyousness successful immoderate comes adjacent successful her career. Whether it’s much touring, acting aliases moving connected her eponymous podcast, she wants to do it all.

“I consciousness wildly successful successful that I americium happy, I’m healthy, I’m 54, and I’m still working,” she says. “It’s quality quality to beryllium acrophobic of nan unknown, but don’t discarded worry connected nan unknown. The chartless is thrilling. We really should conscionable beryllium connected nan separator of our seat.”