Woman Vows to Help Daughter-in-Law Postpartum. Then Does ‘Nothing’ Once Baby Arrives

A female says her mother-in-law promised each nan thief she could request erstwhile she announced her gestation — but erstwhile nan babe was born, she did "nothing."

In a station shared to Reddit, nan female writes that she and her mother-in-law are "on decent terms" and that erstwhile she and her hubby announced they were pregnant, she was "over nan move."

"But that excitement… ne'er really translated into action," she continues successful nan post.

"During pregnancy, MIL made expansive promises. She talked loudly astir really this was nan infinitesimal she’d been waiting for, really she’d bargain everything, group up nan nursery, support america done it all," nan caller mom writes. "In reality? She did perfectly nothing. No help. No gifts. No presence."

She noted that babe showers aren't nan norm wherever she lives, truthful she and her hubby "slowly picked up everything [they] needed" for nan small one, mostly "second-hand" and "hand-me-downs" from different friends and family.

It wasn't until days earlier nan poster gave commencement that her mother-in-law asked "what she should buy."

"We were like, 'Um, nothing? Everything’s already washed, folded, and ready. The baby’s coming next week,'" nan caller mom recalls, adding that her mother-in-law past sewage "offended" because she "wanted to beryllium portion of nan 'experience,' moreover though she’d been wholly absent until then."

The halfway of nan problem, she adds, is that her mother-in-law "promised america thief postpartum." 

"She talked astir bringing food, helping pinch baths, dishes, laundry, thing to fto america rest. She moreover talked astir a 'meal train' she wanted to organize," she writes. "Guess what we really got? Nothing."

She continues, "Not a azygous meal. Not a azygous load of laundry. She’s babysat possibly 3 times successful nan past 11 months!!! Every clip we inquire if she tin help, she’s 'busy' - disconnected connected a trip, has an event, gathering friends, sleeping, whatever. 9 times retired of 10, if I telephone to possibly meet successful nan parkland aliases fto her spot nan baby, she doesn’t reply aliases says she was napping."

Still, each clip they visit, nan mother-in-law complains astir ne'er getting to spot nan small one and "how she wishes she could thief more."

"But it’s each words. No follow-through," nan poster adds.

When she asked her mother-in-law if she could thief retired a mates of days a week truthful that she could reenter nan workforce, nan matriarch alternatively "offered america nan number of an 80-year-old nanny she knows, who charges only 1.5x my salary."

"Cool, thanks. But that’s not helpful. That’s conscionable different measurement of saying nary while pretending to beryllium generous," she adds.

While nan poster "didn't expect" her mother-in-law to raise their babe aliases spell supra and beyond, she is "just tired."

"All astir us, our friends talk astir really overmuch thief they get from their parents. Here, it’s nan norm, culturally expected even. Most families person 3-4+ kids, and grandparents are simply portion of nan equation," she explains. "They do pick-ups, babysit during sick days, driblet disconnected food, thief pinch bedtime. It’s not a favour, it’s a given. And we’re just… not a portion of it."

"We consciousness benignant of abandoned," she adds. "Like we were told we’d person this village, this support network, and erstwhile nan clip came, it conscionable ne'er showed up."

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Others connected Reddit are offering their ain akin situations, pinch 1 writing, "My MIL was for illustration this but I knew she was a flake truthful I planned astir her. She couldn’t guilt america astatine each and it was great. The only rumor is erstwhile our kid sewage sick and hubby and I had to fig it out."

Adds another: "You don’t want this female babysitting your child. She will neglect them."