Dear Abby: My husband won’t let me wear our granddaughter’s ashes

DEAR ABBY: We precocious suffered nan nonaccomplishment of our first grandchild. She was only 24 and taken acold excessively soon. My partner and I are moving done our grief, which is challenging arsenic we are successful different stages. He besides struggles pinch aggregate intelligence wellness issues. They make things moreover much difficult, arsenic I request to thief him done immoderate outbursts while I americium emotion crushed by this tragedy. Counseling will apt hap successful nan adjacent future. 

My rumor correct now is that my girl and I person chosen to get memorial jewelry. In my case, it will beryllium a mini raindrop pendant that will clasp immoderate of my granddaughter’s ashes. I told my partner I was doing this, arsenic surprises don’t spell complete good pinch him and it’s champion to springiness him a batch of warning. He now has concerns that if I deterioration nan necklace, it will continually punctual him of nan loss. 

I want to support my granddaughter arsenic adjacent to my bosom arsenic I can. I’m not judge I tin discuss connected this, short of wearing it only erstwhile he’s not around. But he is retired, and I mostly activity from home, truthful he’s astir each nan time. I don’t want to continually upset him by reminding him, truthful I americium astatine a loss. Any proposal would beryllium greatly appreciated. — REMEMBERING IN CANADA

DEAR REMEMBERING: Please judge my sympathy for nan untimely nonaccomplishment of your granddaughter. Clearly, you are dealing pinch a batch correct now. The truth that your partner suffers from intelligence unwellness only adds to it. That you want to support immoderate portion of your granddaughter adjacent to you is understandable. However, if seeing you wearing nan raindrop pendant would group him back, see having it made but not wearing it until he’s further on successful nan grieving process. I dream he receives his much-needed counseling soon.

DEAR ABBY: I person galore reasons not to spot my husband. We person been together going connected six years, joined for 3 1/2 of them. I precocious recovered retired he texted his ex-live-in woman to wish her “Happy Birthday.” When I asked him why, he said he ever has done this. I don’t understand nan need. They don’t support successful touch different arsenic acold arsenic I know. He ne'er deletes aged messages, truthful there’s usually a way and location really isn’t 1 pinch her. 

He sewage huffy astatine maine (as usual) and couldn’t understand my constituent of view. I besides cognize he has consulted a lawyer successful nan past fewer months to inquire astir really our things would beryllium divided successful a lawsuit of divorce. Should I beryllium concerned? Isn’t it disrespectful for him to matter his ex? — CONFLICTED IN MAINE

DEAR CONFLICTED: You person focused connected nan incorrect problem. Rather than conflict pinch your hubby because he sent a erstwhile woman day wishes, you should beryllium hyper-concerned astir why he has been consulting a divorcement lawyer. (!!) I don’t cognize really emotionally distanced nan 2 of you person become, but from wherever I sit, it’s clip to enlist nan assistance of a matrimony and family counselor.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, besides known arsenic Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby astatine http://www.DearAbby.com aliases P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.