Dear Abby: My husband won’t prepare for my imminent death

DEAR ABBY: I was diagnosed pinch colon crab 5 years ago. After 2 surgeries and 3 infirmary stays, I recovered. The acquisition made maine recognize astatine 62 that it was clip to downsize. I moved my hubby and myself into a smaller, one-story location successful a beautiful status community.

I person now been diagnosed pinch incurable metastatic cancer. I’m being treated to prolong my life. The curen is difficult and is taking its toll. I americium having a difficult clip preparing my hubby for erstwhile I’m gone. I deliberation I’ve taken nan basal steps. I want him to beryllium prepared, but he doesn’t look to want to prepare. We person been joined for 45 years. I person briefed our girl connected wherever nan important paperwork and ineligible documents are, but I want him to return nan lead. How tin I get him to participate? — PREPARING IN NEVADA

DEAR PREPARING: There is nary measurement you tin force your hubby to return nan lead connected this. He whitethorn beryllium truthful emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed astatine nan thought of losing you (after 45 years!) that he’s successful denial aliases incapable to deliberation beyond nan inevitable. Be judge your girl knows each of your wishes to beryllium carried retired earlier and aft your demise, because she whitethorn request to measurement up. And forgive your husband. He will person to get done your nonaccomplishment successful immoderate measurement is earthy for him.

DEAR ABBY: A friend of mine, “Jake,” is going to beryllium a groomsman successful his friend’s wedding. They’ve been friends since puerility and person been done a batch together. Jake has been successful a superior narration for much than six months, but his friend’s bride has informed him that he won’t beryllium getting a plus-one invitation for nan wedding. Her logic is that only group who were successful relationships earlier they exchanged rings are invited to nan wedding. 

Jake and his woman consciousness very insulted by this. He has spoken to nan groom and explained their constituent of view, but nan bride won’t budge connected her decision. In my opinion, wedding guests are ever offered a plus-one erstwhile invited — particularly a groomsman! Jake feels atrocious knowing he’ll beryllium celebrating his friend that nighttime while his woman is astatine location alone. What are your thoughts? — FAIR IS FAIR IN CANADA

DEAR FAIR: While it isn’t formed successful granite that wedding invitations must beryllium issued pinch a plus-one, it surely is nan considerate point to do. Guests should beryllium made to consciousness arsenic comfortable arsenic possible. The aforesaid goes for members of nan wedding party. 

Being asked to beryllium a groomsman doesn’t mean statement is compulsory. My thought is that nether these circumstances, Jake mightiness for illustration to pass his friend he needs to find different groomsman and politely diminution nan invitation to be nan wedding and to beryllium portion of nan wedding party.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, besides known arsenic Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby astatine http://www.DearAbby.com aliases P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.