Dear Abby: My husband won’t stop my in-laws from trash-talking us

DEAR ABBY: My in-laws person many times attempted to destruct my marriage. My hubby knows they trash-talk america to family, reasoning we don’t cognize it, but he won’t put up immoderate meaningful boundaries aliases cheque them whatsoever. I person mislaid each respect for him because he lies to me, telling maine he has confronted them, erstwhile I cognize for a truth he hasn’t. 

We separated complete this issue, and he spent 4 years dragging his feet until I sewage sick of his stalling and began making love to get him to act. He wanted to reconcile, truthful I made nan position of getting backmost together clear: Confront his family astir their toxic behavior, get therapy for his self-esteem issues and decorativeness moving connected our location truthful we could waste it and move distant from our neighbor, nan heroin trader who had been harassing america for years. 

He vanished nan house, and aft 2 years connected and disconnected nan market, I ended up trading it. But nan confrontation pinch his family ne'er happened. I still drawback them talking trash astir us, and he has refused to spell to therapy. I’ve been done therapy and anger guidance and person travel a agelong way. But he’s firmly entrenched successful his dysfunction and doesn’t spot aliases attraction really it affects me. 

I spent nan first 10 years of our matrimony being an unprioritized afterthought of a wife. I garbage to proceed to beryllium that personification aft everything we’ve been through. When is capable enough? — AT A CROSSROADS IN THE SOUTH

DEAR CROSSROADS: Enough was capable erstwhile you yet realized your hubby wasn’t going to alteration and accepted that he will ne'er beryllium beardown capable to tie nan statement pinch his abusive family. I’m amazed your matrimony has lasted this long.

DEAR ABBY: How do you grip a friend who ne'er stops talking? My longtime friend has ever been a bully storyteller, but arsenic we go older, she hijacks each speech erstwhile we get together. She’s oblivious to verbal aliases assemblage cues that nan remainder of america are done pinch nan “conversation” she has chosen and would for illustration to move on. If personification is capable to get a connection successful edgewise, she instantly returns to nan erstwhile subject. 

I travel distant from gatherings emotion angry and frustrated. Is location a measurement to reside this without blowing up a lifelong relationship? — MUZZLED IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR MUZZLED: I don’t deliberation location is. You stated that your longtime friend has ever been a bully storyteller. It is imaginable that, arsenic you each are increasing older, she has begun having cognitive problems. It whitethorn besides beryllium a logic why she’s not picking up connected societal cues. Would her spouse (if she has one) aliases her children (if she has any) person noticed immoderate changes? Start asking. And if nan consequence you person is that this is “just nan measurement she is,” for nan liking of your sanity, spot her little often.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, besides known arsenic Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby astatine http://www.DearAbby.com aliases P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.