Dear Abby: The love of my life died in my apartment — I’m scared to be alone now

DEAR ABBY: I mislaid nan emotion of my life recently. He died present successful our apartment. I americium heartbroken. I’m crying a batch but trying to support myself together. I get frightened being present successful our flat by myself, particularly astatine night. I do arts and crafts and different things during nan day. I person been reasoning astir moving backmost to wherever we utilized to unrecorded because there’s not a batch of nationalist proscription here. My grandkids are adjacent by, but astir times I’m alone. I americium miserable. What should I do? — ONLY ME NOW IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR ONLY: Please judge my sympathy for nan nonaccomplishment of your partner. You stated that his decease was caller and traumatic. Because of that, I be aware you to hold for astir a twelvemonth earlier making immoderate life-changing decisions. Consult your children and grandchildren earlier deciding to battalion up and move. 

If you consciousness you would person much societal relationship if you return to wherever you utilized to live, that whitethorn beryllium a valid reason. For now, subordinate a condolences support group (online, if proscription is simply a problem), and proceed learning really to set to life arsenic a azygous person.

DEAR ABBY: I americium a mother of six and a grandma to four. We are a adjacent family and bask each other’s company. My mom is astir 80. For reasons I could ne'er understand, she didn’t bask my children erstwhile they were increasing up and didn’t link profoundly pinch them. She erstwhile commented to maine that she was saturated pinch women her property because they were “obsessed” pinch their grandchildren and she wanted deeper conversations. 

Mom moved distant and would mostly sojourn conscionable for holidays and birthdays. When nan children tried to stock things that were going connected successful their lives, she wasn’t interested, and we yet stopped inviting her to sports events and recitals because she seemed irritated to beryllium there. 

Now that her grands person almost reached adulthood, my mother wants to link pinch them. She texts them often and sometimes invites them to visit. They respond politely, and a mates person gone to sojourn her, but nary look willing successful a deeper relationship. This bothers her, and she has been asking maine to unit them to sojourn her and see her successful their lives more. But to them, she is simply a distant relative. They don’t consciousness adjacent to her. 

What is my work now? I wish they had a person narration pinch my mom, but I consciousness awkward telling engaged young adults they must scheme trips to sojourn personification who didn’t effort to found relationships pinch them erstwhile they were young. Any advice? — TORN DAUGHTER IN WASHINGTON

DEAR DAUGHTER: Your only work is to punctual your mother of nan truth. When it was clip to found a narration pinch her grandchildren, she chose to beryllium absent. Then explicate that pressuring them to see her successful their lives aft she excluded them from hers won’t person nan desired effect because that vessel sailed a agelong clip ago.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, besides known arsenic Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby astatine http://www.DearAbby.com aliases P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.