Dear Abby: Was I in the wrong for being at the hospital for my friend’s final moments?

DEAR ABBY: I’m a personnel of Alcoholics Anonymous. A chap AA personnel suffered captious injuries successful a motorcycle mishap precocious and had been successful nan ICU for respective weeks.

I visited nan infirmary regularly, bringing cookies and offering support to his girlfriend, who is besides successful nan program. 

During my past visit, I unknowingly arrived astatine nan nonstop infinitesimal doctors began withdrawing life support. I had nary thought it was going to hap and witnessed nan benignant of earthy condolences that comes successful moments for illustration that.

Afterward, I hugged his woman and softly left. Only later did I study that galore successful our AA group knew he was being taken disconnected life support that day.

I americium now devastated. I interest that his woman and family deliberation I showed up intentionally, intruding connected specified a profoundly private, achy moment. I’m acrophobic I caused harm wherever I only meant to help.

I don’t cognize erstwhile I’ll spot her again to make amends. How do I travel to position pinch what I’ve done? — HEARTBROKEN IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: You must not blasted yourself for thing you didn’t know.

During nan weeks you visited that man and his woman astatine nan hospital, I americium judge you brought comfortableness to nan woman and immoderate family personnel you encountered.

The adjacent clip you spot her, show her really sorry you are for her loss, that you didn’t recognize really adjacent her fellow was to nan extremity and apologize if your beingness caused anybody pain. (I americium judge it did not!)

DEAR ABBY: I want to extremity a relationship. My hubby and I met a mates done communal friends astir 3 years ago. We are 20 years older than they are and unrecorded an hr away.

When nan communal friends moved away, we thought that would beryllium nan extremity of it, but this mates pursued a relationship and guilted america into making nan agelong travel to “hang” pinch them, stating that we were their only friends.

Then we learned that they were having a kid successful their 40s. They now person 2 children. 

I person raised my children, and I’m nary longer willing successful being astir toddlers. Between nan region and nan unenjoyable company, I want to extremity it.

I deliberation ghosting them would beryllium tacky, and I want to show them honestly (and gently) that we nary longer want to visit.

My hubby disagrees. He thinks we should proceed nan charade to our immense displeasure. Advice? — SOUTHERN DISCONNECTION

DEAR DISCONNECTION: I disagree pinch your husband. The problem pinch playing charades is that not each nan players are capable to decode nan pantomime.

Save yourself a world of vexation (in summation to nan money you are spending connected fuel) and show nan mates that it’s clip for them to make friends pinch different parents of young children successful their community.

Explain that you person raised a family, and nan travel is onerous for you, which is why you are calling a halt to it. 

If you are their only friends arsenic they person stated, it is important that they cultivate relationships pinch different parents, if only truthful their children tin shape relationships pinch different children.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, besides known arsenic Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby astatine DearAbby.com aliases P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.