HGTV’s Jen Hatmaker reveals the shocking way she found out her husband was cheating

At 2:30 a.m. connected July 11, 2020, Jen Hatmaker woke up to nan sound of her hubby of 26 years whispering connected nan telephone to different woman. 

“I conscionable can’t discontinue you,” she heard him murmur earlier he drifted disconnected to sleep, smelling of booze.

It was, arsenic she chronicles successful her caller memoir “Awake” (Avid Reader Press) retired Tuesday, “the extremity of my life arsenic I [knew] it.”

Hatmaker was a pastor’s wife, a mother of 5 and a bestselling Christian writer and influencer who preached belief values to her millions of readers and followers. She and her now ex-husband, Brandon Hatmaker, founded nan evangelical Austin New Church, successful Texas, successful 2008.

“To immoderate degree, I almost disassociated,” Hatmaker, now 51, told The Post of her mediate of nan nighttime discovery. “It was truthful extracurricular nan realm of what I would person ever considered a anticipation for our life, our marriage, our story.” 

Hatmaker spent nan adjacent 4 hours going done her husband’s computer, pursuing a “trail of betrayal.” (She does not uncover galore specifications in nan book, isolated from that nan matter had been going connected for a “devastating clip span” and that Brandon had showered his woman pinch “expensive and lavish gifts,” plunging nan family into “financial chaos.”) 

When Brandon woke up successful nan morning, Hatmaker threw him retired of nan house.

“It was truthful shocking and stunning, and I almost could not process it,” Hatmaker said. “I couldn’t moreover cry.”

In nan months that followed, she suffered from slump and worry while parenting 5 kids — three teens, 1 distant assemblage student and 1 caller grad — unsocial during a world pandemic, each pinch nary hint astir nan functioning of her ain slope accounts.

After a decade urging Christian women to find agency, usage their voices and found patient relationships, she felt for illustration a failure.

“I did not cognize if I was ever going to beryllium happy again,” she said.

Hatmaker grew up successful Kansas, nan oldest of 4 children. Though her begetter was a progressive Southern Baptist curate who sewage successful problem for inviting women to preach during Sunday classes, Hatmaker described nan religion itself arsenic “conservative.”

“Inside of that culture, nan men are nan leaders,” she said. “They are nan pastors. They are nan leaders of nan family, of nan marriage. They are nan belief authorities. And nan women are fundamentally nan support staff.” 

She joined Brandon, who was studying to beryllium a pastor, erstwhile she was 19. The 2 worked astatine a Baptist younker campy successful Oklahoma, where, successful 2008, they started their ain evangelical Austin New Church.

They had 3 children and adopted 2 more, surviving life arsenic a “cool” Christian mates who supported cheery matrimony and hosted their ain HGTV home-renovation show,” My Big Family Renovation.”

But moreover earlier 2020, “we had been successful trouble,” Hatmaker said. She reveals successful nan book that they didn’t person activity for 2 years.

In April of 2020, they began going to matrimony counseling. “I thought that we were profoundly moving to repair,” she said. “We had benignant of reconnected sexually … And truthful there, astatine nan very bitter end, I thought that we were trying, but we really weren’t. 

“There were a batch of unaccounted absences, and nan telephone was ne'er ever, ever, ever retired of his manus aliases sight,” Hatmaker recalled. “All nan informing signs were there, but I did not want to look those.”

After she uncovered nan affair, Brandon made “no reconciliation effort,” Hatmaker writes. “He [told] maine intelligibly that ‘trying requires definite feelings to beryllium there’ and they aren’t anymore and they won’t beryllium coming back.” 

A twelvemonth later, he was engaged to different woman.

“Awake” is not conscionable a divorcement memoir. In bid to put her life backmost together — financially, emotionally and spiritually — Hatmaker had to break up not only pinch her hubby but besides pinch nan religion that had truthful defined her life and career.

“I recovered nan situation truthful triggering,” she said of stepping ft successful nan religion she helped found. “I had to carnivore nan weight of everyone else’s shock, their sadness and moreover worse, their pity. I conscionable couldn’t grip it.

“I americium not saying that I will ever spell backmost to church, but I americium besides not saying that I will ne'er spell backmost to church,” she said. “Right now, I americium uncovering a meaningful religion extracurricular of those [traditional] spaces.”

Hatmaker nary longer mourns her matrimony and relishes her freedom. In August, she welcomed her first grandchild. She is successful a long-distance narration pinch writer Tyler Merritt. And she hopes that her book helps different women during times of upheaval.

“I americium successful nan driver’s seat,” she said. “I’ll ne'er outsource my life again.”