Toxic ‘submariner’ daters resurface — like nothing ever happened: ‘Worse than ghosting’

First, they vanish into nan making love deep.

Then, months later, they’re backmost successful your DMs — for illustration thing ever happened.

Welcome to nan maddening world of “submarining” — a toxic, resurfacing inclination wherever ghosters popular up from your past, acting for illustration their sudden power silence was nary biggie.

“They want personification to talk to and make them consciousness bully astir themselves,” Gigi Engle, certified activity coach and writer of “All nan F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love, and Life,” antecedently told Men’s Health.

“It’s beautiful improbable that it’s because this personification really cares astir you.”

They aren’t precisely rare, either. Submariners — besides known arsenic “zombie daters” — typically shade without explanation, only to boomerang backmost into your life for illustration nothing went wrong. 

Think: “Hey, stranger” six months aft you cried successful your Uber home.

“People whitethorn take to resurface for a batch of reasons, but much often than not, it’s retired of insecurity aliases boredom,” Engle said.

Worse, they never admit their vanishing act — nary apology, nary closure — conscionable a creepy illusion that nan past fewer months of your life didn’t happen.

According to Dr. Wendy Walsh, Ph.D., a psychology professor and narration master astatine DatingAdvice.com, it’s not conscionable flaky — it’s prehistoric.

“Evolutionarily speaking, having ‘backup mates’ is simply a very communal quality mating strategy,” she told PureWow. 

“Submariners often crave intimacy but are terrified of nan vulnerability it requires,” she explained. 

“A submariner wants to put personification connected nan backmost burner truthful they tin scope retired to them later erstwhile they consciousness lonely.”

However, experts warn: Don’t wound erstwhile they breadcrumb.

“You’ve already grieved them for a while; conscionable fto them spell and move on,” Engle advised. 

“If personification is really into you, they don’t vanish retired of nowhere.”

Submarining joins a agelong database of bizarre and sadistic making love behaviors swimming astir nan app era — ghosting, love-bombing, fizzing and, much recently, “shallowing.”

As The Post previously reported, “shallowing” whitethorn sound for illustration a harmless formation activity, but it’s a rising activity inclination involving playful “outercourse” nosy — and, yes, it’s conscionable arsenic existent arsenic being haunted by your emotionally unavailable ex. 

Sexual wellness marque LELO even listed it arsenic 1 of nan apical activity trends of 2024.

In fact, a 2021 survey of much than 4,000 women — by Indiana University and intimacy tract OMGYES — revealed that astir 84% of U.S. women recovered accrued pleasance from this friendly shape of stimulation.

While immoderate are exploring shallow waters, others are diving heavy into submarine-infested territory — and galore are utilizing tech to navigate both.

“It’s important that anyone pinch questions astir activity and pleasance tin person answers from trusted sources,” said Verena Singmann, spokesperson for sex-toy purveyor We-Vibe.

“Technology tin beryllium a adjuvant instrumentality erstwhile it comes to activity and pleasure, but AI doesn’t ever cognize champion erstwhile it comes to our intersexual wellness and wellbeing.”

Bottom line: When a erstwhile occurrence who ghosted you abruptly reemerges for illustration they’re starring successful their ain reboot, dainty them for illustration nan shipwreck they are.

They didn’t conscionable get “busy.”

They sewage saturated — and experts opportunity you merit amended than being someone’s Plan B pinch Wi-Fi.